THE WEATHER WAS JUST LOVELY
The fact I plumb forgot to send an invitation for this game sums it up. Ugh. I’m at a loss with this game. Conveniently—for the purposes of the recap—this game was the reincarnation of Game 6 against Snowball’s Chance last season (we lost that game 0-1 as well). Here’s the summation of the first half from the Game 6 write up:
“There was no ‘there’ there.”
Here’s the second half:
“There continued to be no ‘there’ there.”
That sums up this game too.
¿Have you ever watched a professional sporting event where nothing happened? I don't mean nothing exactly. Both teams scored/moved the ball (or whatever, depending on the sport) but the game lacked a spark. Both teams try, run around, do the things they ought, but nothing happens. To quote the Fugees “you talkin’ loud by you ain’t sayin’ nothin’.”
As a fan watching that game you think “¿why doesn’t someone do something?” Of course you have no idea what “something” is. It’s frustrating when you’re watching this happen to other people. It’s excruciating when you’re one of the people running around trying with no idea what the “something” is.
We did have a couple of technical problems. For the second straight game our positioning was inexplicably sloppy. For the first time since I-don’t-know-when all of our ladies were on hand. This is actually a problem because it leads to odd assortments of people on the field. At one point our defense was Hermione and Serbian on the wings with me in the middle. That’s not good. It isn’t terrible, we held up just fine, but it’s far from ideal because none of us are comfortable enough to reasonably freelance to help out on offense.
Team Ecto-Cooler’s goal was the result of just such an odd assortment of defenders. I won’t walk through the diagram but two ¡FUTURISMO! defenders were entangled on the left side of the pitch with two opponents. Team Ecto-Cooler passed the ball into the middle and there was no ¡FUTURISMO! covering. That’s a massive defensive breakdown. So an Ecto-Cooler had the ball with a clear path to the basket and unleashed a wicked shot the keeper had no chance to save.
Despite the fact we had significantly more shots on goal, Team Ecto-Cooler had one better than any of ours and that was the game.
The weather, on the other hand, was beautiful. Overcast. Low ‘70’s. The occasional breeze. It was a lovely evening for futbol and we loused it up.
PLAY OF THE GAME: APPEARANCE DEFYING SAVE BY ELLIOT
In the second half an Ecto-Cooler guy got a loose ball 20 feet from our goal. Elliot, the keeper, flew at him and—with absolutely no concern for the safety of his face—he slid head-first into the guy’s feet as he was kicking the ball. The ball was drilled off Elliot’s hands and chest, ricocheted away and was cleared.
It was a save equal parts brilliant and terrifying.
LI’L PETE AWARD: LI’L PETE
Team Ecto-Cooler was awarded a free-kick at midfield. As the Ecto-Cooler guy lined up his kick Li’l Pete stood directly in front of the ball about 10 feet away. The Ecto-Cooler guy, with a running start, kicked the ball as hard as he could right into the side of Li’l Pete’s head. She yelped but it didn’t phase her.
I encourage everyone to make his or her way over to Contactinople (the north-west corner of the 7th floor) at some point in the near future so you can appreciate how totally insane what Li’l Pete did was. I have a futbol. You stand 10 feet away from it and Bran~D will getting a running start and kick it as hard as he can at you. The over/under on how many people won’t duck is 1 (and Li’l Pete is excluded).
FAUSTIAN MOMENT: NONE
There was no moment for which I think the good Doctor would have traded his soul.
There were moments I’m sure he would have enjoyed. High on the list: TB was laying on the ground just outside the Ecto-Cooler box after one of his many collisions (there was an inordinately high number of collisions this game). An Ecto-Cooler lady got the ball about 6 feet from TB. Being in a dangerous area she had to clear it so she booted it… right into TB laying the ground. She felt so bad. She couldn’t have cared less where the ball ended up as she ran to TB to make sure he was all right.
There were other moments: an Ecto-Cooler lady thinking people yelling “time” meant “time out” rather than “you have time so don’t rush.” She stopped playing, lost the ball as result and then seconds later got drilled in the head with the ball as she was explaining why hearing “time” is confusing; or Stilts—ever the prima donna, non-conformist—decided shorts were beneath her so she played in pants. These episodes and others were amusing but not transcendent and therefore unworthy of a soul exchange.
The fact I plumb forgot to send an invitation for this game sums it up. Ugh. I’m at a loss with this game. Conveniently—for the purposes of the recap—this game was the reincarnation of Game 6 against Snowball’s Chance last season (we lost that game 0-1 as well). Here’s the summation of the first half from the Game 6 write up:
“There was no ‘there’ there.”
Here’s the second half:
“There continued to be no ‘there’ there.”
That sums up this game too.
¿Have you ever watched a professional sporting event where nothing happened? I don't mean nothing exactly. Both teams scored/moved the ball (or whatever, depending on the sport) but the game lacked a spark. Both teams try, run around, do the things they ought, but nothing happens. To quote the Fugees “you talkin’ loud by you ain’t sayin’ nothin’.”
As a fan watching that game you think “¿why doesn’t someone do something?” Of course you have no idea what “something” is. It’s frustrating when you’re watching this happen to other people. It’s excruciating when you’re one of the people running around trying with no idea what the “something” is.
We did have a couple of technical problems. For the second straight game our positioning was inexplicably sloppy. For the first time since I-don’t-know-when all of our ladies were on hand. This is actually a problem because it leads to odd assortments of people on the field. At one point our defense was Hermione and Serbian on the wings with me in the middle. That’s not good. It isn’t terrible, we held up just fine, but it’s far from ideal because none of us are comfortable enough to reasonably freelance to help out on offense.
Team Ecto-Cooler’s goal was the result of just such an odd assortment of defenders. I won’t walk through the diagram but two ¡FUTURISMO! defenders were entangled on the left side of the pitch with two opponents. Team Ecto-Cooler passed the ball into the middle and there was no ¡FUTURISMO! covering. That’s a massive defensive breakdown. So an Ecto-Cooler had the ball with a clear path to the basket and unleashed a wicked shot the keeper had no chance to save.
Despite the fact we had significantly more shots on goal, Team Ecto-Cooler had one better than any of ours and that was the game.
The weather, on the other hand, was beautiful. Overcast. Low ‘70’s. The occasional breeze. It was a lovely evening for futbol and we loused it up.
PLAY OF THE GAME: APPEARANCE DEFYING SAVE BY ELLIOT
In the second half an Ecto-Cooler guy got a loose ball 20 feet from our goal. Elliot, the keeper, flew at him and—with absolutely no concern for the safety of his face—he slid head-first into the guy’s feet as he was kicking the ball. The ball was drilled off Elliot’s hands and chest, ricocheted away and was cleared.
It was a save equal parts brilliant and terrifying.
LI’L PETE AWARD: LI’L PETE
Team Ecto-Cooler was awarded a free-kick at midfield. As the Ecto-Cooler guy lined up his kick Li’l Pete stood directly in front of the ball about 10 feet away. The Ecto-Cooler guy, with a running start, kicked the ball as hard as he could right into the side of Li’l Pete’s head. She yelped but it didn’t phase her.
I encourage everyone to make his or her way over to Contactinople (the north-west corner of the 7th floor) at some point in the near future so you can appreciate how totally insane what Li’l Pete did was. I have a futbol. You stand 10 feet away from it and Bran~D will getting a running start and kick it as hard as he can at you. The over/under on how many people won’t duck is 1 (and Li’l Pete is excluded).
FAUSTIAN MOMENT: NONE
There was no moment for which I think the good Doctor would have traded his soul.
There were moments I’m sure he would have enjoyed. High on the list: TB was laying on the ground just outside the Ecto-Cooler box after one of his many collisions (there was an inordinately high number of collisions this game). An Ecto-Cooler lady got the ball about 6 feet from TB. Being in a dangerous area she had to clear it so she booted it… right into TB laying the ground. She felt so bad. She couldn’t have cared less where the ball ended up as she ran to TB to make sure he was all right.
There were other moments: an Ecto-Cooler lady thinking people yelling “time” meant “time out” rather than “you have time so don’t rush.” She stopped playing, lost the ball as result and then seconds later got drilled in the head with the ball as she was explaining why hearing “time” is confusing; or Stilts—ever the prima donna, non-conformist—decided shorts were beneath her so she played in pants. These episodes and others were amusing but not transcendent and therefore unworthy of a soul exchange.
2 comments:
If I was a prima-donna, I would have worn a skirt! (And high heels--but WITH shin guards...hot hot hot). I wore pants, yes--but was because I did not remember shorts!
Don't forget I had to make that save because I totally flubbed the goal kick and gave the ball to their striker right in front of our goal.
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